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When one becomes a parent, one is supposed to learn many things. It’s a major rite of passage, and one I got pretty tired of hearing about before the Panda was born: “Dude, you have absolutely no idea of what you’re in for!” That “no idea” notion was very important to some people. I would argue that surely I had some idea, as a member of this society, from books and film, from watching Read more

I’m frequently reminded these days – by our diligent Boo – of something I learned about from our first daughter: the Baby Checklist. I had always known, vaguely, that there was some regularity to the ages at which babies master various skills, and the sequence in which they do so but it wasn’t until I had children that I realized how obsessive they are about it. I don’t know where they hide Read more

Wanna hear me grumble and whine? Of course you do…

Movies and TV:
Magical Image Enhancement: You’ve seen this many times, I’m sure. A low-res image from a traffic camera, or a grainy blow up of a photo from the 1930s is enhanced with magic software, turning a tiny, indistinct grey rectangle that was comprised of 768 pixels into a fully readable copy of a shipping manifest or an Illinois license plate complete with expiration date stickers. I don’t think you need Photoshop Kung Fu as strong as mine to know that this is crap. The data is just not there, people. Read more

The Panda, followed by Daddy (carrying Boo) enters the garage. She pushes the button to open the garage door. As we shuffle towards the car, the door rumbles slowly up, and Panda looks at it thoughtfully for a moment before she speaks.

“Daddy,” the Panda asks, “Are garage doors strong?”
“Do you mean the door itself, or the motor that lifts it?” asks Daddy.
“The motor that lifts it.”
“Well,” says Daddy, “it’s fairly strong. Strong enough to lift the door, anyway.”
“Is it strong enough to lift a child?” asks Panda, with profound casualness.
“No,” Daddy replies firmly.
“How about a four-and-three-quarters-year-old child?”
“Definitely not.”
“Maybe just slowly?” she asks hopefully. Daddy’s reply is serious and graphic.
“No. It’s not strong enough, and it’s a very dangerous machine,” he explains. “It would break, but first it would catch her fingers. Then she’d fall and there would be horrible injuries. Not something we’ll ever do, right? Never, ever.”
“O.k.,” answers Panda cheerfully.

Unless you are one of the forlorn few who are regularly subjected to my roleplaying games, please ignore this posting. If you are part of that doom-laden company, know that there are bloggy tidbits up on the Web related to the ancient Periheliad, as well as Read more